So, I've been thinking about this for a while... and I'm starting the process of getting rid of anything/everything that doesn't meet the standards of God.
Such as I'm getting rid of a lot of music.
(Luke 14:33 (New International Version)
33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.)
I'm in a really good mood. I'm just so thankful that I have God and I'm finally trying to do everything I can to get closer to him.
So, I don't think I got the Chick-Fil-A job, I haven't gotten the call, but I have a gut feeling it's not for me, not this time. I have plans this summer. I know more than anything that I wan't/need to be volunteering for Camp Agape this summer. And my family is thinking about going to Texas to visit family I haven't seen in at least 5 years. I may be wrong, but I know it's Gods will so I'm no worried.
Mark 16:15-18 (New International Version)
15He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. 16Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Well, it's been a while.
... Yeah.
I don't know.
I've gotten a lot closer to God in the past few months, more than ever. And I'm truly trying. I finally get the whole, 'your nothing, with out christ thing.' Because everyday I get to some moment where I'm like, 'I can do this.' Then I have to remind myself 'I can do this, through Christ.' Or that point in the day, [usually in the morning] where I feel like crap. And I'm like, 'I am nothing.' And then I have to remind myself that God makes me strong. It's true that with out him I am nothing. I am weak. I am just like the dust in the wind. But with him I am stronger than anyone. Than any force. So, daily I've been reminding myself of Gods love.
I've been going to this group called Life Hurts, God Heals with a few of my friends [Leslie & Amanda] on sunday nights for a few weeks now. And the first time I went there I didn't think I belonged there, I was too 'ahead' of the others. But I stopped myself and reminded myself that God had me there for a reason. So, I continued going. I enjoy it more than anything. Not only for my relationships that have grown [Amanda & Leslie] but also meeting all the people there. It's weird how being in a group like that can bring up all these weird emotions you didn't know we're there.
It's so weird. Getting closer to God. On the 26th of this month it will have been 3 months since I've rededicated myself to God. And these have been the hardest, easiest, and happiest months of my life. I find myself questioning everything. What I'm doing, what others are doing, what I say, who I hang out with... which is hard at times. To monitor everything. But these past few months have been amazingly easy also... It's just realizing that God has always been there for me. And I've never been so happy, as I am now. The only thing that irks me beyond belief is seeing so many people. People I love, and thinking about whether their saved or not. If I've witnessed to them. It just bothers me so much. Especially knowing that you might have hindered someones progress at some point. I don't know.
Tomorrow I have my first interview. I'm totally freaking out inside. I have no clue what to wear, I have no clue what they'll ask, or if I'll get the job. Which I guess is all pretty much usual. It just... feels weird applying for a job. I've always done things later than everyone else. I'm about to turn 17 and I'm just now going out for a job...but my best fried isn't even 16 and she's applying for the same job. My entire life I've gone at a slower pace than others, and it just has annoyed me my entire life. But I'm not sure if it's such a bad thing now.. It either means I don't go for things, or that I think on things before I act.
It's weird that now I'm getting closer to God everything else has less importance. I used to live for writing. It was the only thing that kept me going. Writing stories, poems, songs. But now I don't need to write at all, I find it more soothing to read the bible. I'm constantly reading the bible... trying to find an answer. I know Gods the answer. But I mean, the answers to my questions, my faults, my future. My pastor once said that a lot of people say that God is directing them to be a pastor or whatever but you don't really know for sure until they are a pastor and you see their work and if it changes lives, and if it's Gods work. I've felt God telling me I need to serve others. I think thats obvious since I just want to volunteer for camps and things, but I've felt this need to teach Gods word. I don't know if I'll try and become a pastor, or whatever that takes. Because part of me is still trying to find something, anything else that I'm supposed to do. But since I've started following God completely, nothing means half of what it used to. And nothing gives me the joy God does, or learning and telling others about him does.
John 14:27 (NIV) 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
I don't know.
I've gotten a lot closer to God in the past few months, more than ever. And I'm truly trying. I finally get the whole, 'your nothing, with out christ thing.' Because everyday I get to some moment where I'm like, 'I can do this.' Then I have to remind myself 'I can do this, through Christ.' Or that point in the day, [usually in the morning] where I feel like crap. And I'm like, 'I am nothing.' And then I have to remind myself that God makes me strong. It's true that with out him I am nothing. I am weak. I am just like the dust in the wind. But with him I am stronger than anyone. Than any force. So, daily I've been reminding myself of Gods love.
I've been going to this group called Life Hurts, God Heals with a few of my friends [Leslie & Amanda] on sunday nights for a few weeks now. And the first time I went there I didn't think I belonged there, I was too 'ahead' of the others. But I stopped myself and reminded myself that God had me there for a reason. So, I continued going. I enjoy it more than anything. Not only for my relationships that have grown [Amanda & Leslie] but also meeting all the people there. It's weird how being in a group like that can bring up all these weird emotions you didn't know we're there.
It's so weird. Getting closer to God. On the 26th of this month it will have been 3 months since I've rededicated myself to God. And these have been the hardest, easiest, and happiest months of my life. I find myself questioning everything. What I'm doing, what others are doing, what I say, who I hang out with... which is hard at times. To monitor everything. But these past few months have been amazingly easy also... It's just realizing that God has always been there for me. And I've never been so happy, as I am now. The only thing that irks me beyond belief is seeing so many people. People I love, and thinking about whether their saved or not. If I've witnessed to them. It just bothers me so much. Especially knowing that you might have hindered someones progress at some point. I don't know.
Tomorrow I have my first interview. I'm totally freaking out inside. I have no clue what to wear, I have no clue what they'll ask, or if I'll get the job. Which I guess is all pretty much usual. It just... feels weird applying for a job. I've always done things later than everyone else. I'm about to turn 17 and I'm just now going out for a job...but my best fried isn't even 16 and she's applying for the same job. My entire life I've gone at a slower pace than others, and it just has annoyed me my entire life. But I'm not sure if it's such a bad thing now.. It either means I don't go for things, or that I think on things before I act.
It's weird that now I'm getting closer to God everything else has less importance. I used to live for writing. It was the only thing that kept me going. Writing stories, poems, songs. But now I don't need to write at all, I find it more soothing to read the bible. I'm constantly reading the bible... trying to find an answer. I know Gods the answer. But I mean, the answers to my questions, my faults, my future. My pastor once said that a lot of people say that God is directing them to be a pastor or whatever but you don't really know for sure until they are a pastor and you see their work and if it changes lives, and if it's Gods work. I've felt God telling me I need to serve others. I think thats obvious since I just want to volunteer for camps and things, but I've felt this need to teach Gods word. I don't know if I'll try and become a pastor, or whatever that takes. Because part of me is still trying to find something, anything else that I'm supposed to do. But since I've started following God completely, nothing means half of what it used to. And nothing gives me the joy God does, or learning and telling others about him does.
John 14:27 (NIV) 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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