The Second.

I woke up around 12 this afternoon which was kind of annoying since I was hoping to wake up earlier so I could go geocaching with my parents, but I got over it. I ended up spending my day cleaning my room, watching old family videos, and on myspace of course. It was a really laid back day, but I had a lot of things on my mind.

I'm afraid that I'll have to give up some of my non-christian friends, not because I want to, or because its neccessarily my choice. I mostly think their putting pressure on me like all of them before have done, to stay the same. I love my friends, I do. But like I've stated before, God is my number one. And in a lot of ways my christian friends are closer to me too, because we have a spiritual bond. I hate how a lot of people can't understand that... the spiritual bond. I'm starting to get closer to some good christian chicks like Danielle and Emily [a long with Brittany and Jenny<3] and I wan't to grow in Christ with them. A lot of people don't understand this because I've never been particularly close to either of them, in fact, a while back I didn't get a long with Emily at all, for many reasons. People change and through God I see beautiful things in both of them and I see that we can all grow and help eachother grow together.

Everytime someones rude to me or gets me angry I have to hold myself back so much... like I have to control my mind from going to that evil place and I have to hold my tongue from using such rude language. And I'm doing an okay job, but I just, hope I can continue to grow and hopefully one day I won't have to hold my tongue. Hopefully one day my mind is just, a peaceful setting. :]

I also have to work on judging people. I'm very judgemental of people by first glance... and its just negative thoughts. I need to start respecting peoples choices and also seeing everyones beauty.

I read the bible for discipleship... the verse that stood out to me the most was: Luke 14:33. "In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple."
Which reminded me of the sacrifices that I have to make as a christian.
First of all I may have to limit my time with those who refuse/bash/disagree with my christianity. So that I can stay strong in my faith. Which also reminds me of that saying "bird of a feather, flock together" which is very true. If I hang out with a bunch of druggies, I'll be a druggie. If I hang out with a bunch of drunks, I'll drink. And If I hang out with a bunch of non-believers, I won't believe.

Thinking back to my adventure to where I'm at now... I realize how different i've become. The hardest part for me to think back to is the fact that when I was at Christian camp I had no clue how much I had to give up to follow God. I had no clue... but they told us, over and over again how we would have to change our lives, give up our lives to be with Christ, because only with Christ could we have our lives. isn't that amazing? We get life through Christ. blah. I never truly had life with out him, I know that now. :]

Another time in my life that saddens me is the fact that I had/have no relationship with my father... or mother. Now that I think about it my father always says, "You can't have a real relationship with anyone if you don't have one with your dad. If you don't have one with me." I don't think he was exactly right, though. I think I was unable to have relationships with people because I was running away from a relatinship with God. My father. I know I need a relationship with my earthly father and my mother... but I could never have had a real, loving, relationship without God. He has transformed me. I hope that through God I will be able to gain relationships with my parents and also those around me. I also hope that God gives me the strength to not be so shy and awkward around new groups of people. I always seem to be running from change and life. But I hope that God brings me to them. :]

Overall I'm going to pray for:
People and their jobs, I know its a really hard time.
Getting a job, myself.
All my friends from church camp and their struggles.
All the people from church.
Wesley and his mother.
Danielle and her faith.
Emily and her faith.
Shawn and his faith.
For my friends who aren't sure of their faith, or what to believe.
For those lost.
For my younger brother, because he doesnt' believe.
For those at war.
Those who have it tough.
Generally Everyone.
I just hope that you are all blessed. :]

I hope that I can rely on the bible and stay strong through Christ. I'm excited for this year and I know there will be a lot of struggles but, I can make it with God.