Last night after I got off the computer I was feeling really weird. I was sad because of the position I'm in due to my change in lifestyle... and I also was needing Gods guidence. I read Psalms 36-42 last night and the verses I liked most were,
Psalm 37:23-24 (NIV)
23 If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm;
24 though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.
Psalm 38:17-22 (NIV)
17 For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me.
18 I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin.
19 Many are those who are my vigorous enemies; those who hate me without reason are numerous.
20 Those who repay my good with evil slander me when I pursue what is good.
21 O LORD, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God.
22 Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior.
I also recommend Psalm 46 and Psalm 49.
Psalm 49:20 (NIV)
20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish.
And today I read up to 51 of Psalms. But I only particularly like this verse,
Psalm 51:10 (NIV)
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
After having a rough night last night I did find solace in God, like always. But for the second night in a row I had too much pain in my legs to fall asleep for a while. I woke up around 11 this morning and didn't feel like doing crap, which is why I spent the majority of my day lying in my bed watching pointless tv and movies. I felt very worn out all day, like the world was getting to me. So, it felt relieving to just get away from the world and just sit with myself.
My struggles today we're a lot of the same: my thoughts towards others, the things I watch, over eating, doubts about the future.
I love God so much and daily my love for him grows. I know that I could never love him like he loves me... I know I'll never be as amazing as he is... but I hope to keep trying, and to get closer to him.
I'm excited for tomorrow which is a sunday. I get to go to church at Grace Fellowship but then later on I get to visit my friends church, so hopefully everything works out. :] And of course school starts monday.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
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I'm glad you read so much, Stan.
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Psalm 51:10 is a pretty neat verse. Mmm, we're going to need a very steadfast spirit to get through this year, but when we succeed, we will be blessed tremendously. Just keep on truckin' Kristina. I'm behind you all of the way. Even if you're going up a (steep)hill and your engine starts to fail.
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